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20. Irene Tsapelas, Arthur Aron, and Terri Orbuch. Marital Boredom Now Predicts Less Satisfaction 9 Years Later. Psychological Science 20, no. 5 (2009): 543–545, https://­doi.org/­10.1111/­j.1467-9280.2009.02332.x.

21. Irum Abbasi and Nawal Alghamdi. The Pursuit of Romantic Alternatives Online: Social Media Friends as Potential Alternatives. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 44, no. 1 (2018): 16–28, https://­doi.org/­10.1080/­009­2623X.2017.130­8450.

22. Полная версия опросника приведена в Приложении.

23. D. W. Crawford, R. M. Houts, T. L. Huston, and L. J. George. Compatibility, Leisure, and Satisfaction in Marital Relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family 64, no. 2 (2004): 433–449, https://­doi.org/­10.1111/­j.1741-3737.2002.00433.x.

24. Real, The New Rules of Marriage, P. 13.

25. D. J. Knapp, J. A. Durtschi, C. E. Clifford, J. G. Kimmes, P. Barros-Gomes, and J. Sandberg. Self-esteem and Caregiving in Romantic Relationships: Self- and Partner Perceptions. Personal Relationships 23, no. 1 (2016): 111–123, https://­doi.org/­10.1111/­pere.12114.

26. G. E. Birnbaum and H. T. Reis. When Does Responsiveness Pique Sexual Interest? Attachment and Sexual Desire in Initial Acquaintanceships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 38, no. 7 (2012): 946–958, https://­doi.org/­10.1177/­014­616­721­244­1028.

Глава 2. Искусство ссоры

1. Kira S. Birditt, Edna Brown, Terri L. Orbuch, and Jessica M. McIlvane. Marital Conflict Behaviors and Implications for Divorce over 16 Years. Journal of Marriage and Family 72, no. 5 (2010): 1188–1204, https://­doi.org/­10.1111/­j.1741-3737.2010.00758.x.

2. Stan Tatkin. Relationships Are Hard, But Why? TEDxKC, 2016. Retrieved from www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKXLPuju8U.

3. Sun Tzu. The Art of War (Minneapolis Filiquarian Publishing, 2006: 7). См. издание на русском языке. Сунь-Цзы. Искусство войны. М. : Эксмо-Пресс, 2015.

4. Tara R. McRae, Tracy L. Dalgleish, Susan M. Johnson, Melissa Burgess-Moser, and Kyle D. Killian. Emotion Regulation and Key Change Events in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy 13, no. 1 (2014): 1–24, https://­doi.org/­10.1080/­153­32691.2013.836­046.

5. Harriet Lerner. Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts (New York: Touchstone, 2017), 81.

6. Sun Tzu. The Art of War, 9.

7. Lerner. Why Won’t You Apologize?, 47.

8. Real. The New Rules of Marriage, 52.

9. J. M. Gottman and R. W. Levenson. A Two-Factor Model for Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce: Exploratory Analyses Using 14-Year Longitudinal Data. Family Process 41, no. 1 (2002): 83–96, https://­doi.org/­10.1111/­j.1545-5300.2002.401­020­00083.x.

10. Real. The New Rules of Marriage, 83.

11. L. L. Carstensen, J. M. Gottman, and R. W. Levenson. Emotional Behavior in Long-term Marriage. Psychology and Aging 10, no. 1 (1995): 140–149, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/777­9311; R. W. Levenson, L. L. Carstensen, and J. M. Gottman. Influence of Age and Gender on Affect, Physiology, and Their Interrelations: A Study of Long-term Marriages. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 67, no. 1 (1994): 56–68, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/804­6584.

12. J. M. Gottman. What Predicts Divorce?: The Relationship between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1994); J. M. Gottman, J. Coan, S. Carrere, and C. Swanson. Predicting Marital Happiness and Stability from Newlywed Interactions. Journal of Marriage and the Family 60, no. 1 (1998): 5–22, https://­doi.org/­10.2307/­353­438.

13. Birditt, Brown, Orbuch, and McIlvane. Marital Conflict Behaviors and Implications for Divorce over 16 Years.

14. T. Bradbury, S. Campbell, and F. Fincham. Longitudinal and Behavioral Analysis of Masculinity and Femininity in Marriage. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 68, no. 2 (1995): 328–341, https://­www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/­pubmed/­787­7096.

15. H. M. Maranges and J. K. McNulty. The Rested Relationship: Sleep Benefits Marital Evaluations. Journal of Family Psychology 31, no. 1 (2017): 117–122, https://­doi.org/­10.1037/­fam000­0225.

16. P. R. Amato and A. Booth. The Legacy of Parents’ Marital Discord: Consequences for Children’s Marital Quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81, no. 4 (2001): 627–38, http://­dx.doi.org/­10.1037/­0022–3514.81.4.627.

17. Michael McCullough, Lindsey Root Luna, Jack Berry, Benjamin Tabak, and Giacomo Bono. On the Form and Function of Forgiving: Modeling the Time-Forgiveness Relationship and Testing the Valuable Relationships Hypothesis. Emotion 10, no. 3 (2010): 358–376, https://­doi.org/­10.1037/­a001­9349.

18. Lerner. Why Won’t You Apologize? P. 52.

19. Miles Hewstone, Ed Cairns, Alberto Voci, Juergen Hamberger, and Ulrike Niens. Intergroup Contact, Forgiveness, and Experience of ‘The Troubles’ in Northern Ireland. Journal of Social Issues 62, no. 1 (2006): 99–120, http://­dx.doi.org/­10.1111/­j.1540-4560.2006.00441.x.

20. Janis Abrahms Spring with Michael Spring. How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To (New York: Perennial Currents, 2005), 124.

21. Michael McCullough, Eric J. Pedersen, Evan Carter, and Benjamin A. Tabak. Conciliatory Gestures Promote Human Forgiveness and Reduce Anger. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 111, no. 30 (2014): 11211–16, https://­doi.org/­10.1073/­pnas.140­507­2111.

22. Michael McCullough, Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2008); Filippo Aureli and Frans B. M. de Waal, Natural Conflict Resolution (Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 2000).